Affairs of the Heart in Karsh

In Karsh an aristocratic woman is much more likely to engage in an affair with a slave than with a man of her own class. This may be partly because in most public gatherings people are seated according to social status, with free men at the front and women and slaves at the back.

from Simulated Comic Product

This is from the discontinued web comic Simulated Comic Product.

As with all pictures on this blog, click to get the full-sized version.

The Cries of Zombies

Zombies are known to emit a moaning cry, rather like the wail of a cat but far deeper. Popular superstition holds that this cry sounds quiet if the zombie is near, but loud if it is far away.

Meeples as a Dungeons & Dragons race?

My post on Meeples seemed to be pretty popular, and someone commented that they wanted to play one.

So how would you stat a Meeple race (or racial class)?

Emotional Baggage

These creatures are native to the Isle of Angry Lamps. Like the other inhabitants of the island, they have come to life and resent their former owners for misusing them. They may express their anger by running off with whatever is placed in them, or more passively by ensuring that loads will never fit.

The Warring Gods

My short story The Warring Gods is now online.

Hollow Mockeries for old versions of Dungeons & Dragons

AC equivalent to leather armour.
HD 3
Save as Cleric 3
Damage 1d6 (sharp hooves)
Movement 18
Morale 5

Hollow Mockeries have the appearance of the corpse of a horse, which has been whipped around the head and neck, so that it is covered in blood and strips of flesh, and much of the skull is revealed. They are usually festooned with bells and bright bows, as if they were to be presented as a gift.

Most scholars agree that they may be created when a person dies in a way which caricatures the purpose of their entire life. The idealist who builds so many prisons in the name of freedom that he is eventually hung as a tyrant; the woman who, desperate for a child to nurture, steals another's baby and then starts a house fire while cooking for it, killing the baby and herself; the hunter who seeks food, freedom, and solitude in the forest, and then starves to death, caught in their own trap and with no one to call for help. The spirit of such a person knows no rest as the morbid irony gnaws at them, and so the corpse releases melancholic vapours which can coalesce into this spiteful creature. That at least is the most commonly-accepted theory of their origin. Another theory is that they are scape-goats - animals ritually filled with the sins of a community and driven into the wilderness - who were filled with spite and malice.

They are undead (immune to sleep and charm, can be turned). They are spiteful and vicious creatures, and will generally demand a 'tax' from anyone entering their territory (they speak Common). The tax can be any amount of money, or thing of value. Player-characters will feel an utter humiliation and outrage at the thought of submitting to the creatures' demands. If they do so they will lose 100XP (and if they give treasure, won't get any XP for that treasure).

The creatures are hollow, which has several consequences: Blunt weapons such as clubs do only half damage. Blades such as swords do normal damage. Pointed weapons such as arrows and spears do normal damage, and there is a 1 in 3 chance that the creature will be pierced. In this case it will react like a balloon which has been blown up without being tied, and then let go: the creature will whiz around the room and collapse, deflated and 'dead'.

Optionally the DM may give the creatures some sort of poison - although it is unliikely to be fatal.

George Psalmanazar

In 1703 a man appeared in London who was believed to be a native of Formosa (now Taiwan), who had been kidnapped by Jesuit priests and brought to France, where he escaped.

The man, given the name George Psalmanazar, reported that Formosa was a prosperous country with a capital city called Xternetsa. Men walked naked except for a gold or silver plate to cover their genitals. Their main food was a serpent that they hunted with branches. Formosans were polygamous and husbands had a right to eat their wives for infidelity. They executed murderers by hanging them upside down and shooting them full of arrows. Annually they sacrificed the hearts of 18,000 young boys to gods and priests ate the bodies. They used horses and camels for mass transportation and dwelled underground in circular houses.

He had white skin like a European, which he explained by saying that the Formosan upper class lived entirely underground.

Many educated people believed him to be a fraud. Indeed he eventually 'admitted' that he was a European. Despite this, he was known in later life for his saintly aspect, "whereof he was so well known and esteemed, that scarce any person, even children, passed him without showing him signs of respect."

It seems likely to me that this person may have been a native of the world in which Teleleli lies. In particular his description of  mass sacrifice reminds one of the latter days of the city of the vile Anhotep. It is possible that he was unable to communicate the nature of his travel to his audience (or decided not to do so for fear that they would fail to understand). Perhaps he did not understand it himself. However I believe he had at least some inkling. He is recorded as worshipping the sun and moon with complicated rites. It may be that these were in fact magical or scientific attempts to discern his location, misunderstood by his ignorant hosts.

It is notable that Taiwan is roughly in the area occupied by the hypothesised continent of Lemuria which, as I have detailed in a previous passage, is likely to be connected to Teleleli and its environs.

Meeples

Meeples are a race of self-replicating wooden robots. Their original builders are long-dead. They live on a fuel which is a mixture of wood, wheat and stone. They are a peaceful race, occupying their time with farming and road-building.

from The Rime of the Ancient Mariner

The fair breeze blew, the white foam flew,
The furrow followed free:
We were the first that ever burst
Into that silent sea.

The School of Hard Knocks

Teleleli's premier school for the teaching of armed and unarmed self-defence. Its fees will be, for the most part, out of the reach of the traveler. Generally its students will be guards or thugs in the service of a wealthy patron who finds it cheaper to hire the unskilled and train them than to pay more for already skilled operators (an option only open to those sufficiently well-supplied with servants that they are able to wait). At times wealthy merchants, eager to imitate the landed aristocracy, have sent their scions to the school to gain skill at arms.

from The Lord of the Rings

Gil-galad was an Elven-king.
Of him the harpers sadly sing:
the last whose realm was fair and free
between the Mountains and the Sea.

His sword was long, his lance was keen,
his shining helm afar was seen;
the countless stars of heaven's field
were mirrored on his silver shield.

But long ago he passed away,
and where he dwelleth none can say;
for into darkness fell his star
in Mordor where the shadows are.

from The Lord of the Rings

Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.

from the film Conan the Barbarian

The only snakes I know of are those of Set and his cursed towers. Their evil has spread to every city. Two or three years ago it was just another snake cult. Now they're everywhere. It is said that they are deceivers - they murder people in the night.

Class for old versions of D&D: The Natural Philosopher, or Alchemist.

This is untested and unfinished, so please feel free to criticise.

The Natural Philosopher, or Alchemist, is a scholar who specialises in the lore of potions and the construction of devices.

The class is designed for a campaign in which there is no opportunity for the player-characters to buy magic items. It would be far less useful in campaigns where this is not true.

XP As Magic-Users.

Weapons As Magic-Users.

Hit Points As Magic-Users.

Attacks As Magic-Users.

Armor Natural Philosophers may wear leather or chainmail armor, or any magical armor. They may use shields.

Prime Requisite Intelligence.

Saving Throws
Swords and Wizardry: Alchemists start with a Saving Throw of 15.
Fortitude, Reflex, Will: Alchemists have a good Fortitude save.
Basic/AD&D: Alchemists save as Fighters.

In all cases Alchemists have a bonus against poison and intoxicants, including alcohol, equal to their level +1.

Other Abilities

Dungeon Features: Natural Philosophers have the same chance to notice dungeon construction features as dwarves.

Starting Potions: Natural Philosophers start play with two potions, which are rolled randomly as if generating treasure.

Create Potions or Miscellaneous Items: In areas with the proper facilities (usually large towns and cities) Natural Philosophers may make potions or miscellaneous items when not adventuring.

It takes a day to make one such item. At level 3 they may create two potions in a day. At level 6 they may create three potions in a day. They may not divide the time. For example a level 3 Natural Philosopher could not work for half a day and make one potion. Nor may they make more than one miscellaneous item at a time.

The player may roll randomly as if generating treasure, on the sub-table for potions or miscellaneous items as they choose. This costs 500gp per potion or item.

The player may also attempt to make a specific potion or item. Their chance of success is 10% times their level, to a maximum of 90%. Failure indicates that the player has wasted 250gp (and their time). 

Identify Potions: Alchemists may attempt to identify potions (but not miscellaneous items). In a properly-equipped facility they can do so with certainty given a day, and 100gp spent. They may also try to identify a potion by taking a small sip. Their chance of success is 45%, plus 5% per level, to a maximum of 90%, secretly rolled by the DM. Failure indicates (equal chance of each):
i) they accidentally drink too much (ie they drink the potion)
ii) they misidentify the potion (roll randomly for what they think it is)
iii) they are unable to identify the potion, but may try again if they are willing and able to spend another 100gp.

from the Gospel According To Mark

…Immediately there met him out of the tombs a man with an unclean spirit… And no one could bind the man anymore, not even with a chain, for he had often been bound with shackles and chains, but he wrenched the chains apart, and he broke the shackles in pieces. No one had the strength to subdue him...And Jesus asked him, "What is your name?" He replied, "My name is Legion, for we are many."

High Spores

If anyone inhales these dandelion-like plants their skin will turn a jaundiced yellow, their head will swell, and they well feel an insatiable hunger. However they will gain the ability to harm creatures that are otherwise insubstantial.

The Pants O' Mime

These cursed trousers render the wearer unable to talk. They may also cause them to become trapped in an invisible box, or to feel a magic wind pushing against them every time they try to walk.

Alchemist Class: Draft 2

This is untested and unfinished, so please feel free to criticise.

The Alchemist, or Natural Philosopher, is a scholar who specialises in the lore of potions. It might be objected that most such would not be adventurers. This is of course true, but it is equally the case that most priests and wizards are unlikely to live as wandering vagabonds, and likewise that most soldiers would be in an army and most thieves in a gang of other thieves.

Alchemists have the same XP requirements, Hit Points, weapon restrictions, and attacks as Magic-Users. However they may wear leather or chainmail armour, or any magical armour (platemail is too heavy for them), and may use shields. Their Prime Requisite is Intelligence.

Saving Throws:
Swords and Wizardry: Alchemists start with a Saving Throw of 15 like Magic-Users, but have no bonus against spells.
Fortitude, Reflex, Will: Alchemists have a good Fortitude save.
Basic/AD&D: Alchemists save as Fighters.

In all cases,  Alchemists have a bonus against poison and intoxicants, including alcohol, equal to their level +1.

Potions:
They start play with two potions, which are rolled randomly as if generating treasure.

In areas with the proper facilities (usually large towns and cities), they may make potions when not adventuring. It takes a week to attempt to make a potion.

The player may roll randomly as if generating treasure. This costs 500gp.

The player may also attempt to make a specific potion. Their chance of success is 10% times their level, to a maximum of 90%. Failure indicates that the player has wasted 250gp.

Alchemists may also attempt to identify potions. In a properly-equipped facility they can do so with certainty given a day, and 100gp spent. They may also try to identify a potion by taking a small sip. Their chance of success is 45%, plus 5% per level, to a maximum of 90%, secretly rolled by the DM. Failure indicates (equal chance of each) they accidentally drink too much (ie they drink the potion), they misidentify the potion (roll randomly for what they think it is), or they are unable to identify the potion.

Optionally the Alchemist may be given the ability to make miscellaneous magic items as well as potions.

The Guardian of the Threshhold

The Guardian of the Threshhold, or Dweller on the Threshhold, is a menacing creature that is said to attack anyone who is about to gain the power to travel to other worlds by mental power alone.

It is sometimes said to appear as an image of its victim, sometimes as a dangerous animal such as a dog or snake, and sometimes as a vaguely-seen spectre or shadow. The 'creature' may be a group or species of creatures.

Some claim that the Guardian consists of elements of a person from a previous life, that were left behind when that person was reborn.

Desperate Courage: A Proposed Rule for Halflings.

This rule can be used if falling to 0 Hit Points causes unconsciousness rather than death.

If a halfling loses enough Hit Points that they would fall unconscious but not die, they may make a Saving Throw. Success means that they stay conscious until the end of the combat, or out of combat for ten minutes. If they receive further non-fatal wounds within that period they do not need to make further saves.
 
"There is a seed of courage hidden (often deeply, it is true) in the heart of the fattest and most timid hobbit, waiting for some final and desperate danger to make it grow."

Lord of the Rings.

Thoughts on an Alchemist Class (for Swords & Wizardry)

This is untested and unfinished, so please feel free to criticise.

Alchemists have the same XP requirements, Hit Points, weapon and armor restrictions, and attacks as Magic-Users. Their Prime Requisite is Intelligence.

They start with a Saving Throw of 15 (like Magic-Users), but gain +2 vs poison rather than vs spells (edit: if using Fortitude, Reflex and Will, they should have a good Fortitude save. I find Basic/AD&D-style saves quite difficult, and I'll do them in the next draft).

They start play with two potions, which are rolled randomly as if generating treasure.

In areas with the proper facilities (usually large towns and cities), they may make potions when not adventuring. It costs them 500gp to make a potion of their choice, or 300gp to make a potion which is randomly rolled.

Their bonus against poison increases as they gain levels: +3 at level 2, +4 at level 3, and so on.

(What else happens as they go up in levels? I'd say that making potions becomes cheaper, but adventurers should have more gold anyway. Maybe they gain access to poison, or the ability to create other types of magic item).

Optionally, they can create and start with miscellaneous items as well as potions.

Sick-Houses

Sick-Houses are a sub-species of Hungry House. They do not devour their prey directly. Instead, those who dwell within them for any length of time will become sick and eventually die. The Sick-House will then slowly absorb the corpses.

Because this process takes some time, Sick-Houses are more likely to make their homes in those areas where a dead body may go undiscovered for some time.

Ransom

As a general rule, most cultures observe the custom of taking prisoners for ransom.

In areas ruled by a lord, even common folk may be ransomed (although they are paid for and released as a group, and their price is far lower than that of an aristocrat). If their lord fails to pay, the custom is that the prisoners become serfs of their captor. In this circumstance their previous lord loses much status, and it is this, even more than the value of their labor, that is the main incentive to pay.

Lords will generally not make prisoners of free peasants, as they are rebellious and unreliable, and unlikely to have the resources to pay a ransom. They will instead kill them.

Free peasants, by contrast, will generally take prisoners of serfs. They may let them join the community after a certain period. Otherwise the custom is to brand or tattoo them with a distinctive mark and let them go. Anyone with such a mark taking arms against them will be killed on sight.

Free peasants generally have a great hatred for aristocrats, and so may kill them on sight. However they may capture them due to their high ransom value. The disgrace of a lord being out-fought by, and surrendering to, peasants, can work both ways. Sometimes the aristocrats will pay an unusually large ransom very quickly. At other times they will deny that it happened at all, and hope that the peasants kill the lord.

Inanimate objects, such as important religious relics, may also be taken for ransom.

Outside of big cities, prisoners are generally expected to work as if they were members of the community.

Note that, since barter is more common than currency, most of the time ransoms will be paid in kind, for example with livestock.

Literary R&R has reviewed Two-Fisted Tweets. The review is here.

Counting Coup

Many cultures, both rural and urban, have a tradition of 'counting coup'. This is the custom of delivering what could have been a fatal blow to an enemy, but with a harmless and symbolic 'weapon', such as a 'sword' of thin wood which is designed to break.

This custom must be distinguished from various kinds of mock-battle in which neither participant uses a real weapon.

Successfully counting coup on an enemy humiliates them, and raises the status of the warrior. It also puts the defeated one in the victor's debt.

from A World Lit Only By Fire

If the bishop’s seat was the spiritual heart of the community, the donjon, overshadowing the public square, was its secular nucleus. On its roofs, twenty-four hours a day, stood watchmen, ready to strike the alarm bells at the first sign of attack or fire. Below them lay the council chamber, where elders gathered to confer and vote; beneath that, the city archives; and, in the cellar, the dungeon and the living quarters of the hangman, who was kept far busier than any executioner today.

...

The donjon was the last line of defense, but it was the wall, the first line of defense, which determined the propinquity inside it. The smaller its circumference, the safer (and cheaper) the wall was. Therefore land within it was invaluable, and not an inch of it could be wasted. The twisting streets were as narrow as the breadth of a man’s shoulders, and pedestrians bore bruises from collisions with one another. There was no paving; shops opened directly into the streets, which were filthy; excrement, urine, and offal were simply flung out windows.

And it was easy to get lost. Sunlight rarely reached ground level, because the second story of each building always jutted out over the first, the third over the second, and the fourth and fifth stories over those lower. At the top, at the height approaching that of the great wall, burghers could actually shake hands with neighbors across the way. Rain fell rarely on pedestrians, for which they were grateful, and little air or light, for which they weren’t. At night the town was scary. Watchmen patrolled it - once clocks arrived they would call "One o’clock and all’s well!" - and heavy chains were stretched across street entrances to foil the flight of thieves. Nevertheless rogues lurked in dark corners.

William Manchester.

Free Passages

The Brotherhood of the Coasts, the guild of longshoremen and dockside labourers, gives out tokens entitling the bearer to a free journey to those who render great aid to them. They are in the form of the bones of whales or other large sea creatures, inscribed with the bearer's name and the nature of their deed. These bones are also given to the high priests of Numen Mari and other gods of the sea.

The bones may not be sold or given away, even in a will. If the bearer dies it is expected that the bones will be destroyed. If they are used, they may be affixed to the prow of the ship in question.

They are honoured by all ships, even pirates, since anyone who refused would find all ports closed to them.

Measuring the Hours

In Teleleli and the islands around, 'hours' is a general term for a reasonably long time that is less than a morning, afternoon or night. The notion of an 'hour' as a specific length of time does not exist.

A 'day' may mean an exact day - usually measured from sunset to sunset - or it may refer to a working day, depending on context.

When Telelelenes need to co-ordinate exact time, for example in arranging to meet, they may use sunset or sunrise, noon, or 'moonrise' during that part of the year when the moon appears before sunset. They may also use the ringing of various temple bells. The timing of these bells, usually rung as a call to prayer, is in turn calculated based on the position of the sun, moon and stars.

The time between sunset and midnight is known as the 'Dog Watch', and that between midnight and sunrise as the 'Graveyard Watch', particularly in the context of piracy.