Saturday, September 11, 2010


If a cow or goat is slaughtered, and milked at the exact moment of its death, and appropriate incantations are performed all the while, then this substance is produced.

It appears identical to milk, but drinking it causes terrible weakening of the bones and teeth. However those who are lactose intolerant or otherwise allergic to milk will find that drinking it causes, along with its evil effects, the banishing of headaches, nausea, cramping, bloating, diarrhoea, and flatulence.

Vegan sorcerers have been known to produce soy klim, a substance which is produced by sacrificing a block of tofu.

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