Tuesday, December 21, 2010


'Fairies' usually refers to a number of creatures who look like much smaller versions of humans (though often with wings and/or pointed ears) and have the ability to fly.

However some use the term much more broadly, including for example elves, hemianthropoi, gnomes, or goblins, all of whom are much larger and unable to fly, but who share fairies' pointed ears and affinity with forests. It is unknown whether any of these folk share a real kinship with fairies, humans, or each other. Likewise it is not certain whether fairies themselves have a common origin, since they are defined largely by their ability to fly, and this ability comes from a variety of sources.

Fairies themselves have little interest in the past. They are usually illiterate and keep no records written or oral, and so their opinion on the matter is usually unheard and not to be trusted.

Certain inscriptions tell a story with a strange similarity to the beliefs of my assistant Josef, who held, in keeping with the superstitions of his native Poland, that the fairy folk are descended from angels who rebelled against God, but then escaped to the world rather than following Lucifer into Hell.

But in the end nothing is known, and perhaps the wise surpass the foolish only in the breadth of their ignorance.

Fairies are usually unable to bear the touch of iron, which disrupts their ability to sense magnetic and electrical currents, and thus to know their location provided they are reasonably close to home.

Some fairies fly using their own wings, which most commonly resemble those of moths, dragonflies, or butterflies. Others fly using an apparently magical process.

Yet others have no ability to fly under their own power. They usually fly on the backs of birds or insects, or enchant stems of the flower ragwort, and ride on them as witches ride on broomsticks.

Rasta-Fairy-Uns, who likewise have no power to fly, do so by burning the plant Fairy's Fire and inhaling the smoke, which makes them lighter than air.

There is a group of fairies whose wings resemble those of bats. Their main role is arranging funerals for insects. In the forest the insects are buried in swamps, mud-holes etc. In the city these fairies seek out the nearest equivalent: the chocolate vats of confectioners. This explains why insect parts are frequently found in chocolate.

Fairies are rarely hostile to humans. However one should beware of falling asleep in fairy-inhabited forests, for they will sometimes lay their eggs in a sleeper's ear canal. The birth process is usually not fatal but may cause deafness, or damage to the sense of balance.

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