Predator Drone's Commonplace Book

This article is a parody of HP Lovecraft's Commonplace Book. I didn't find it funny, but I think some of the ideas are actually good ones.

The article, by Zack Parsons, is here.

This book consists of ideas, images, & quotations hastily stored locally and in duplicate in the Operator Forward Command Base for possible use in stories, novels, and after action reports. For the most part they are merely suggestions or random impressions designed to set the memory or imagination working. Their sources are various - dreams, things read, casual incidents, 3x video, FLIR, synthetic aperture radar, absinthe visions, etc.

Predator Drone MQ-1C

1 Gen. Petraeus becomes a cat - travels in dreams

2 A drone switches to black hot, cannot switch back to white hot - a witch's curse?

3 Ghost missile

4 dust occludes satellite - a bloody symbol in the sky

5 drone does not want to fire on civilians - must

6 TOMMY FRANKS returns from Leng

7 sorcerer spell - lady drivers - drone pregnant

8 unearthly ground collision alarm tone

9 ancient cyclopean city - strange minarets shelter supposed sniper- cleared to engage

10 above 500 feet everyone looks like al qaeda

11 insurgent drone

12 a drone is fond of local boy on base and learns to hypnotize and transfer its identity into the boy so that it can play football with the other children, but must always return back into the drone. Ordered onto mission where it must blow up the boy. Returns from mission to find that the mission was ordered by the boy himself. While drone was inside his body?

13 A terrible wizard attempts to drive a truck full of bootleg DVDs onto the base and misunderstands verbal cues from marines - must be exploded by drone

14 tomb of ancient drone discovered in dry riverbed - spirit of drone awakened - rains ceaselessly and threatens to flood entire city

15 corpse marine buys burger king for drone

16 drone haunted by war crimes, lives under bridge, ancient majicks preserve spirit inside figurine of cat

17 target painted by ground forces is drone's mirror image - drone dies when it launches on target

18 suspected IEDS, hellfire missile, civilians, no consequences

19 Long loiter over AoE leads to vision of apocalyptic pharaohs return and corruption of autonomous heuristics causing drone to mis-identify friendly convoy as al qaeda. Death and destruction. Suggestion entire mission was simulated to test endurance of software.

20 A-10 with evil purpose

21 Israelis use strange rock to conjure daemons of fire that attack a UN school. Drone must ensure Merkava tanks are not harmed.

22 WOLFOWITZ written in burning letters above Palestine

23 magical insurgent appears only synthetic aperture radar

24 TOMMY FRANKS swallows a fly during a speech. Fly takes over his body. Consequences.

25 A WMD inside the wall of an ancient temple, beeps constantly, drives drone to transcribe insane melody for symphony. When completed something happens. Destruction.

26 Strange man in robes appears at gate. Shot to death immediately. Dead hand falls open to reveal dairy queen coupons.

27 woman dressed all in black sees soldiers doing a strange thing to her daughters. Disappears into impossible angles.

28 drone trains native soldiers to be drones

29 a visiting congressman must spend the night outside the green zone

30 Srange shape seen moving through the streets of Sadr City at night. Sometimes it appears as a man, other times a writhing mass of tentacles. Eight blocks leveled with high explosive bombs. Strange shape never seen again.

31 Hajji hatches from primordial egg.

32 Clay pots found in basement contain 75 year old chemical irritant - appear on Fox News, Media Matters.

33 Saddam resurrected into drone. Impossible sortie?

34 A robot eat a dead body: a shameful robot.